Well I have caught my son watching porn three times now. He is 11!!! First time he was nine, second time was last year at age 10 and now again last week at age 11. We have taken is ipod away and he has strict computer rules, no going on the computer unless someone is in the room with you. This breaks my heart and even though we explained why he cannot go on those sites the first time, then again the second time and also gave some pretty major consequences or major to him (if he does not stay off of those sites and talk to us when he sees those sites, hockey may have to go), he still went on them. This is a huge deal!!!! He loves hockey but it was not enough to make him stop and he went on anyways. We are having to watch him like a hawk now and this scares me so very much. I do not want my child wrecking his life because of this crap and I do not want him wrecking any girls lives that he may date, be friends with or even marry. This shit will steal your soul and leave you an empty selfish objectifying loser and I do not want that for my children, I do not want them losing themselves in this mess. Please parents be aware of what your kids are doing!!! Check on them, check their phones and ipods and computers, it is your job!!!
I posted a good new documentary under references that you all need to watch. Porn is not what it used to be and it is destroying our kids. My son has the images of violent, objectifying sex burned into his mind now and that is not at all what sex is about, somehow I need to help him get those out of his head and teach him what sex is and why we do it and it has nothing to do with what is shown in porn nowadays. It is not making a girl gag and choke, it is not about hurting her and using her as a masturbation tool, it is not about humilitation and pain. I hate this shit and I hate that our kids can see it so easily everywhere. I hate that people watch it which just makes them make even more of it. I hate that I am a woman being compared to those used up, drug addicted, hopeless, fake, broken girls and women and I hate that starting with porn leads to so many other terrible things, trafficking, child porn and violence and abuse directed towards women. I hate it, I hate it all and I hate my husband for bringing this shit into my home for my young son to see.
Well I have been away for quite some time. Life got busy and dealing with this nonsense takes its toll. I am doing some great things!!!!! I am currently receiving my coaching training in addictions and relationships and will also be specializing in helping partners with their trauma from living and being with a spouse with porn/sex addictions. Lots on my plate but I am passionate about helping as many people as possible get through this and to find a better life. Porn robs people of this, it robs men, women and children of healthy lives. You will never know what it is like until you have this directly involved in your life but people need to be aware that it can creep in so easily. Parents need to be aware that some things are just not for kids and porn may not be a problem for some but it can destroy others lives.
I would also like to remind those struggling with porn addiction or compulsivity to please fill out the questionnaire on this site to help gain info on where you are coming from and your side of the story. Also if any partners, those struggling with porn or people that know someone struggling with this issued would like me to post their stories on this site to help educate an
I am very proud of my daughter and to see her grow into a determined, self assured and caring woman. She amazes me at times at how aware she is even when we think she sometimes isin't. She believes in herself and makes herself vulnerable to life and it's challenges and tries things, she takes the risk. She is not concerned with what other people think, she follows and works for what she wants and believes in. She dosen't care if people think she is some nerd, she herself wants good grades. She does not care if people think she is goofy because she is and has fun. She does not need to pile on makeup or wear shorts with her ass cheeks hanging out because she knows she is beautiful and for the right reasons, she knows she is a good person and that is what is important. She makes her views and opinions and thoughts heard, she speaks up for herself, she knows she has a voice. She loves others and treats them how she wants to be treated. She supports her brother and family and is interested in them and not just herself. She is a good friend and is concerned with their wellbeing. She includes her Dad and I in her life and wants us there and wants to share in our families successes and achievements and celebrations. People are drawn to her for the right reasons, they value her for her and what she stands for and who she is a person and not an object. She has goals and dreams and shares them. She is a fighter!!!
At 15 she truly is a fantastic person. She is not trying to prove anything to anyone but herself and I admire her so much for that. I have so much respect for this young woman and wish other girls would see the greatness in themselves too and that they have the potential for so much, they have so much to give and share with others, they are worth so much more than what others tell them or try to shove down their throats. I wish other parents would see this in their children and would help to guide them and lead by example in their own lives. Our children are what we leave behind when we are gone and their children and their childrens children, our values and morals carry on long after we are gone. People really need to wake up and to get their priorities straight and to open their eyes to what is important in life, we only have so much time here so let's make sure we leave our mark for the right reasons and the proper reasons. Let's see and appreciate the people that should matter to us most.
Thank you C for making my life better and for teaching me to love more and to strive to be better and do better. Thank you for being my daughter!!!!
So I am torn here. My daughter wanted to try out for the local Football Dance Team, she loves to dance and is 15. I thought ok sure until I saw the requirements to try out. First they had to take a head shot of themselves to the audition. I did not agree with that because why don't they find out if the girls can even dance, is that not the point of the whole thing? Whatever I put my thoughts and feelings aside because I know my daughter is in it for the right reasons, she just likes to dance. So off we go to the auditions and my daughter took her high school picture with her from this year. The girls show up and they want their pictures and to take their measurements right away. WTF? We still have not seen if they can even dance, this is a dance team is it not? So the girls show up and it is a beauty contest and to see who is the smallest? All of the girls were very pretty and young but is this really what a dance team is about? I thought it was about dancing, guess I was wrong.
Anyhow to make a long story short my daughter made the team. She was so excited and happy that she tried something and accomplished it and I was proud of her too. Now they are learning dances with Sexy in the title and going to do a car wash in their cheer outfits which we all know what those are like. Makes me sick to think of all of these men and most of them a lot older than my daughter pulling in to get their car washed but mainly just to oggle my kid. Disgusting!!!! What can I do though? This is our society now and I am one Mom out of 1000 that think this is ok, those other Mom's are doing the same stuff, hanging their asses out to get attention too because that is the only way that they think they can get it. My daughter just likes to dance and I can't take that away from her, all I can do is instill good values in her and make sure she knows that she is so much more than tits and ass!!!
Well here is some food for thought..................your kids learn from you!!! Yes, I am sorry to inform you but when you decided to have unprotected sex and to bear the responsibility of being parents that meant you signed up to be teachers as well and role models not someone who just provides food and shelter. Your job parents, grandparents, aunts, uncles etc...........................is to teach your kids to be decent, happy, proud, respectful, functioning members of society and to believe in themselves and others and to know their worth. Your job is to support and encourage them and to guide them from the mistakes you made yourself.
If you have a daughter teach her strength and that she can do and be anything she wants to be. Teach her and show her that her value is much more than her body and that showing it off in unhealthy ways does not give her the attention she actually wants. If you are a Dad protect her, show her how women should be treated, respect her and love her for being her own individual self!!! Teach her it is ok to just be herself. If you are a Mom teach her beauty from within, to stand up for herself, to work hard to meet her goals whatever they may be and how to love others including herself. Teach her to be strong and independent.
If you have a son teach him respect and how to treat women properly. Teach him that people are not objects for his own pleasure and that to get love you have to give it. If you are a Dad show your son how to treat a woman, be respectful of him and listen to him, support him and hear him. Teach him that a real man has feelings, cries and needs help sometimes. If you are a Mom, act like a Mom not some lady trying to be twenty years younger than you are, show him that beauty comes from inside and not the outside, be the person he comes to when he needs a hug or shoulder to cry on, and care about him and how he feels.
If you have a daugher or a son stop behavior that you see as destructive to them or others, tell them when things are not acceptable and explain why. Be the person that helps them and listens to their thoughts and feelings and struggles, make yourself open and available to them at all times. Teach them about sex, love and marriage, show them what it really is through your own marriage or relationship. If you have problems in your own relationship and do nothing about them then what do you think your kids are going to learn? They are going to think the behaviors and actions that happen in your home and your relationship are the norm and how things are supposed to be. Do not leave your porn or other adult things out for them to find, if you have them make sure your kids will never get a hold of them but also explain to them what these things are and why and when they are appropriate. Do not lie to your kids no matter what it is about and do not try to avoid things because it is really you that is uncomfortable about it. Address issues as they come up right away, do not put things off or ignore them. Be active in your kids life, know their friends, partake in their lives, what is important to them should be important to you. Promote socializing with others including the opposite sex through sports, music, arts etc. Be proud of their accomplishments and always find a good in a bad and always find an improvement in a good. Your kids have to learn how to win and lose, they also need to learn how to be humble and to work hard to reach their goals but they also need to know that they are capable of anything they put their minds and hearts to and should be proud and happy when they achieve their dreams and goals. Stand up for them, protect them but educate them too. Be someone they can talk to about anything and be the someone that will always listen to them and care about what they say even if you don't agree or have all of the answers. It is your job as parents to build your kids up and to believe in them and to encourage and promote their growth as good human beings. It is your job to teach them about risk and responsibility and to own up to their mistakes and to learn from them. It is your job to teach them values and morals and what is important in life. It is you job to teach them how to treat others and how they should be treated as well. It is your job to be parents and if you didn't want the job or its too hard or you are too selfish yourself then you should not have had kids. Video games, computers, tvs and cell phones should not be caregivers or teachers that is YOUR job!!!!
Not a lot to say today.......................I'm tired. Tired of the news and how every time I turn it on some other kid has been captured by video and spread all over the net, how every time I look at girls nowadays with their junk all hanging out to get boys attention, it makes me sad and want to shake them. How men and boys think it is all a big joke, treating women this way and how they think it is funny but it will catch up with them one day and I want to shake them too!!! No one has any respect anymore and I guess that is what I am most tired of.
I had a gentleman in my work yesterday getting a flight. I work in an office with one other woman and our computers were not working properly so my co-worker was apologizing for it taking so long. His reply "what did you break it watching too much porn". Ya really funny dipshit. Who would say that to two women in a place of business? Obviously it it was he does but come on buddy have some class and have some respect.
That is all it is, respect for yourself and others and for some reason it seems impossible in the world we live in now. We do not treat each other or ourselves very well at all and thinking about it just makes me so tired and sad. I may give it but sure don't get it back.
Well I haven't been here in a bit which is no good. I have had a lot of thoughts and sometime I just need a break to calm my head. All of this can be quite overwhelming at times and stressful. I don't like to see our youth, husbands, brothers, sons, fathers going down the porn tube and it is everywhere you go now. I felt a bit sad yesterday thinking of how Mother's are losing their husbands and sons to this fake world of fantasy. Many Moms would not have felt special yesterday because they can't compete with porn, no real person can so I am sure many Moms had any other normal day because porn robs those closest to them of their passion, empathy and love. Many men would not see their Wives or Mothers as special anymore and would and do take them for granted, using them for what they can get from them without having to give anything back. It breaks my heart to know that Mom's are having to deal with this BS, this disgusting, degrading, world of make believe that their men choose to live in. Yes it is a choice, Men always have a choice but their values become skewed and their perceptions of the women around them become affected negatively as well. Still though there is a choice and it is affecting their life and the lives of their loved ones. Maybe for Mother's Day the men could have just stopped and looked at themselves and what they are doing and what they are missing, great lives with their ladies and really knowing them and seeing them. They could have made the choice to stop and to see and hear the women in their lives and to give them the appreciation and honesty that they deserve. Love the women in your life, do not treat them like objects or as someone to serve you better.
If you have kids or know kids listen up!!! There is a group called FIGHT THE NEW DRUG, google them and you will find them. This amazing group of young adults has taken it upon themselves to get the info about the harms of porn into the schools to stop youth from getting caught up in the complete BS. They are trying to prevent problems before they get out of hand or even start at all. If you are a parent or aunt or Grandpa whatever, you owe the kids in your life the time to check out this site and to read about what these guys and girls stand for and to support the work they are doing for your kids and our youth in this world!!!
I am currently trying to see if we can get one of their assemblies into my daughter's high school. This info needs to be shared and explained to the ones it affects most, the kids. I am not someone who is going to pretend this problem does not exist and I am going to share my experiences with others to help if possible and to educate as to what is going on in our world. The plague of lost values, no morals, broken families, porn zombies!!!
If you want to help they also take any donations to help fund their program and that is also a fantastic way to spread the word and get kids informed and the help they need to have fullfilling and loving lives.
They travel throughout the US and Canada to bring this info to schools. I have contacted my daughter's school admin office to see if I can get this into her school and to get the ball rolling. Anyone can send a few emails, just as I have done, to make this happen in their kids school and I encourage everyone to step up and do it. We can make a difference if we do a little bit of work and take a stand for our kids and youth.
This is not a political group, religious group or any other type of group, just people who want to make a difference and are doing it!!! There are also some wonderful resources on their site as well.
Think of all the recent stories of rapes, videoing of it, posting on the internet or passed along to everyone in school, the bullying, the suicides - this my friends is what our kids deal with nowadays and where the hell do you think it comes from? Treating people like objects and where do you think that comes from? PORN!!!! Porn is not sneaking your Dad's playboy anymore for a quick peek, it is so so so much worse than that now and your kids have seen it!!!
Fight The New Drug you guys are awesome!!!
Hmmm, well I sat and asked myself this question today and thought and thought. Why and how do I feel like a woman? How am I appreciated and celebrated for being a woman?
Is it because I have boobs? Is it because I am a good person? Is it because I care for others? Is it because I am good at my job? Or is it because of what is between my legs and the types of undies I wear?
Well I know it is not because of my thoughts or mind and I know it is not because I am good at my job or good to others. I could be a complete bitch but as long as I have cleavage I will be talked to still. If my thong is hanging out then maybe someone will pay attention to me or bleach blonde hair and fake and bake. I am not ugly or disfigured or frumpy but I am normal. I wear jeans that fit, I have brown hair, I wear glasses, my tattoos are not tramp stamps and you most of the time cannot even see them because they are for me not someone else to oggle. I do not wear a ton of makeup, if at all and I don't wear 10 inch heels, I like my ballet flats thanks, I like to walk:) I have breasts yes but they are in my shirt where they should be and it is a privledge for others if I decide to share them with them not because I feel I have to to get noticed. I am not fake and I am not trying to prove anything to anyone. If you don't like me or how I look because I do not have my goods hanging out then so be it. I have self respect and do not need to give that up for anyone and won't. I have no problem wearing lingerie or those things but they are not for the world to see and that is saved for my husband only, I do not need attention like that from every guy around and don't want that, that is saved for me and my husband. He is the one that is supposed to make me feel good about my attractiveness and my sexuality is supposed to be for him and him only, why else would I have gotten married? I want to feel sexy for him and look the part for him not any dude walking down the road and I think this is where the problem lies today. Girls think their value is in how much attention they get from boys and that is just not correct. If you value yourself then that is all that matters, we women have nothing to prove to anyone but ourselves. Men should value us by our minds and goodness towards others not what is in our pants only. I am trying to teach my daughter who is 15 these things but it is hard in a world wear girls start getting bikini waxes and buying thongs in their early teens. It is very hard when people her age are posting on facebook about how sexy she is or how hot!!!! She is 15, she is not hot!!!!! She is still a young girl who is supposed to be growing into herself and learning about herself not molding herself into what others want, what men want today. It is sad that girls nowadays only think they are worth what men think and only worth what men want to see in their bodies not brain, they are worth so much more than that.
I would like everyone over the weekend to tell a girl or woman they know about how they value them as a person and not an object to stare at. Take the step to tell them why you value them and how they make a difference in your life. Tell them that you love them for them not for how they look:)
I put my foot down yesterday and did something to support what I was thinking and got my voice and views out there. I am not scared to tell something that something is just not right and I really do not care who they are.
I am talking about one of our local radio stations. Every Thursday morning they host a show and promote a gentleman from the US and his site. This particular site shows naked celebrities and is just another porn site. Every week I hear this show and every week it enrages me hearing them live on the radio say things like "so and so has the best rack", "so and so won the best tits award" "so and so has the most fantastic ass", "this girls funbags are just awesome", "oh, so and so has not done a full nude scene yet but you can see a nip slip in this movie 22 minutes and 31 seconds into the movie". I cannot believe this guy makes his living at telling people when a cleavage shot happens at what time with whatever actress in a certain movie or tv down to a certain second. Not only does he do that but he knows this useless info for every possible actress, singer, model from the year 1920 to now and I am not joking. This guy needs to get a life!!!! How utterly pathetic is this and people think this is cool and that he is a god. What a loser!! He also has kids and a wife, even more of a loser!!!
Now that loser can do whatever he wants but it enrages me that when I am driving my kids to school on a Thursday morning the get to hear who has the nicest rack. I do turn it off but just knowing it is on eats at me. I cannot believe that the local station that I have listened to years and years would promote this crap and at this time of day. You want to put that useless ass and info on your radio fine but do it when kids and families are not in the car driving to school and work. What is that? Another thing that blows me away is that the radio hosts haves wives and kids and one of them is a woman sitting there listening to this and chiming in with just as dumb objectifying comments as the men. Give your head a shake people!!! It amazes me everyday to know how little people think of each other and how no one values anyone anymore for the right reasons.
Anyhow, after thinking about it all day and it not sitting well with me, I wrote them an email explaining my disgust with them and why. I know it will probably not do much and I am sure they will not even reply but I feel better knowing myself that I did not follow the crowd when I felt stongly about something and I let them know that. I let my voice be heard and will not support what they are doing ever as one of their previous listeners.
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